Words Left Unspoken
by Sam StarEagle
Summary: Character backstory to my very AU fic, BATTLESTAR CONFIDENTIAL. Lee Adama lost almost everything in his life for being himself. He gained his best friend for the same reason...
1. Never Gonna' Stop Raining

This is a backstory fic to my BSG Noir universe (_**BATTLESTAR CONFIDENTIAL**..._), and picks up a few years earlier, shortly after Lee's gone through his darkest hour. If you haven't read **_Chapter 23- Let Go_** of _**BATTLESTAR CONFIDENTIAL**_, I encourage you to go back and read it before you start this...you'll like it a lot more if you do... ;)

* * *

"_I seem to remember sitting over there, by the bar…" she starts to say, arching her gaze over to the crowd surrounding the bar "been a long week, sick of my job, sick of a lotta' stuff… I caught a fleeting glance of a guy, sitting alone, pile of empty glasses in front of him… He looked sad, and I was kinda' lonely myself, so I walked over asked him his name…"_

"_You really want to know?" he said, sad eyes, worn out…_

"_Well that kinda' depends…" I said, all friendly as he frowned at his own reflection…_

"_I'll warn ya' I'm lousy at conversation."_

"_Well I can take up the slack…How about just a name?"_

"_It's a bad idea wanting to know me…"_

"_Alright…" and I smiled at him at sat down by his side "I've gotta' know now. Maggie Edmondson."_

"…_Lee Adama."_

* * *

The rain pelts down outside, stinging with heat and fiery smog, down on the hard, black pavement outside. The wide plate glass windows of the bar rattle with a beat too fast to dance to, too slow to make me feel any worse about another shot. I grip it tense between my fingers, catch the dizzying fumes in my nose, and fire it back like I was throwing a punch. The glass rings as it slaps down on the bar, spirits burn the back of my throat, all the way down….

Not like it's doing me any good.

_**Frak it.**_

_At least I can still feel something…_

Conner moves back over to me cleaning a glass out with a ragged towel, low light sparkling in the thick crystal in his hands. "Bout' ready to call it?" he asks me.

I reach in my pocket, feel the band of metal, pull it out and let it drop, watch it spin…shiny like fire, cold as steel. Even colder now. I let out a sigh; tap the ring around along the smooth surface. "You'll be the first to know."

"Gotcha'…" Not a second glance, not so such as a first one. Just lets himself wander back over to the sink for another empty glass. I look down at the ring…long, slow look. Nothing to go back to now. Nothing to even want anymore. My hand picks up the glass, flips it over and slides it over to the stack of empties. Think it's time for anoth…

The door opens behind me.

She rushes in, shaking the rain out of her olive green coat; slips her purse off her shoulder and quickly unties the belt of her drenched coat, reaches over her collar and slips it off onto the coat rack. She runs her fingers back through her silky dark hair, swiping the water back from her face. Moving with the soft steps of a dancer over to my far right at the bar, she sits down, craning her neck back and forth exhaustedly. Must be a long day for her…

She's not the only one.

I turn back to the empty glasses and empty ring in front of me; think about the trial, my marriage…life…whatever the frak a guy's supposed to think about when he's down in the gutter like I am. Funny thing is, I don't even care about losing it…losing her. Whatever… It's losing him that hurts the most. Breaking my promise.

I swear I'll find the truth someday…

But not today, I guess.

I lift my head off the floor and gesture for another round. Only takes a moment to realize nobody's there. I catch a glance over to my right and see Conner chatting up the dark haired woman slumped over in her seat. He smiles like a wolf at her…gods, he can't get his divorce over soon enough. Only the frakker's enjoying his…figures… She's not that easy though. No way. Conner sees me, nodding in acknowledgment at me as he turns back to her, obviously not asking for just her order…he's gonna' have to try a lot harder. She's not just some lonely girl looking for somebody to take care of her…definitely not her. She's got mystery in her eyes, sass and attitude in her grin…nothing's gonna stop her. She's got it all figured out.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing here.

* * *

Another round, another few minutes gone…only I haven't touched my drink. Polite laughter and soft tones from the band drift through me without making as much as a ripple. I came here to get away from having to feel anything, not to "get in the mood"… Still…awful waste of a cheap shot. I reach for it; feel the weight as it drifts through the air to my lips.

She looks over at me.

Her eyes lock on to mine for the slightest of moments. I don't know who she is, why she's here, where she's going. All I know is I'm, the last thing she needs is to be interested in…

_**Frak…**_

She slips out of her seat and over to me like a cat, purse slung under her left arm. She moves like a feather through the air; wears cool, deep grey, and blue, and smiles at me with darker eyes. I look down, try and fire over a hint. All I get is the feeling of her beside me while she slides her right hand over the bar just left of my vision.

"This seat taken?" she asks in all too friendly voice as I put my glass down.

"Just me." I reply, barely looking up. Not her fault…just a bad idea…

"Mind if I ask your name?"

"You really want to know? I ask, looking up at her with what I'm sure isn't a smile.

"Well that kinda' depends…" she says passively. She's not giving up. Not her…not this girl…

"I'll warn ya', I'm lousy at conversation." I say evasively, hoping I can bore her enough to find somebody that won't ruin her evening.

"Well I can take up the slack…" _I'll bet she can…_ "How about just a name?"

"It's a bad idea wanting to know me…" I sigh. _Gods…what the hell is that supposed to mean?_

"Alright…" she quips, taking in a sharp breath. She stands still for what feels like an eternity, neck cranes around through the smoky afternoon light cutting into the bar. She's had it with me, looking for somewhere else to…her deep eyes spark as a sweet grin glows at me. "I've gotta know now." she smiles, sliding onto the seat next to me "Maggie Edmondson."

_What the frak…_ "…Lee Adama."

"Nice to meet you, Lee Adama" she says extending her hand, making sure to say my name as serious as it sounded coming from me. _Gods, do I really sound like that? No wonder I always thought I heard groans every time I ever said anything at work…At least that's one thing I don't have to hear anymore. _For whatever reason, I feel my triad face warm into a grin, and give her my hand. It feels so delicate in my own, smooth skin lingers against mine for less than a heartbeat, slipping back out of my grasp. She smiles like the first day of spring after a long, hard freeze. I don't know why she's blowing her time with me.

"I, um…noticed you when I came in. Thought you looked like you could use some company." says Maggie, flopping her ebony black purse on the bar.

"Do I?" I smirk with resign, lifting my brow in her direction.

"Well don't you?" she asks with a glinting grin.

"Couldn't hurt either way, I guess."

"Well good. Company always cheers me up."

"And how about you?" I ask her.

"What about me?"

"Do you cheer people up?"

Maggie looks into me, a spark of gold shining in her deep brown eyes. She sees it…sees me. "I try to."

"I hope you're right…" I surrender to her with a fading smile.

Conner slinks back in over Maggie, rough shave and worn shirt coloring his glee to have a fresh face around. "Everything okay with you two?" he quips.

"Yeah, I think I'll have another. And _I'm fine_, by the way…" she fires at him with a stern glare that shades back into a smile at me. Tough girl… "How about you?" asks Maggie, sweeping her eyes over my emptied shot glasses.

"I'll have what she's having." I tell him.

"Comin' right up." he says with a wink, turning back around and jumping attention over to some new patrons at the far end of the bar.

"Is he always like that?" she asks.

"What makes you think I know?"

"Seems like your kind of place…" she replies with a hushed smile with a tinge of reserve… "So what do you do, Lee Adama?"

"You don't know?"

"I don't know _you…_"

"Ever read the papers?" I ask her, slumping my posture in, almost not wanting to get into it again "Say within the last few months…"

Her head tilts, eyes glisten warmly, the faintest lines arch across her brow and lips. "Oh yeah…" she lets out under her breath "I do know you." she slowly nods. "At least read about you…or should I say, what people have _written_ about you…"

"I'll bet…" I say, letting out a groan. A moment passes…two, maybe ten… "So…what do you think of me now?"

"I might have read about you, Mr. Adama, but I still haven't met you." she replies. "So what's the story?" Maggie asks, her eyes drifting back to the empty gold band lying under my gaze.

"It's a long story…" I tell her, hoping she'll get the hint, be satisfied to at least have my name.

More sheets of rain lash across the busy street outside, waves of sparkling water spray from the wake of cars flying by. She eases back into her seat, resting her long arms on the polished surface of the bar, gleaming in the gray and white light from outside. Maggie takes in a breath, as her head tilts back at me, deep brown eyes locking on to mine. "Good thing I got all night, huh, Lee?

* * *

"Gods…" sighs Maggie, pulling back in her seat, taking a long, slow, empty gaze at the rainbow of glasses and bottles in front of us "Some story…"

"Yeah." I reply looking away the same, reaching for my glass again "Some story."

She looks back to me in the fading light under the gold glow of the lights, rain still dribbling down outside. There's sadness in her eyes… I guess a guy could expect it after dropping a tale like that on a girl that just came in to unwind, but…it's not just sadness. Not just pity. Not what I expected. She's still got a smile. That same, damned happy light in her face…

_I forgot people could ever look at each other like that…_

"So what are you doing now?" she asks me direct, straight.

_Snap out of it, Lee…_

"What am I doing now?" I say, drifting off into my worries, off into reality once more…anchored by her smile. "Well, I've still got my degree, all the right letters at the end of my name…"

"But…"

"But…" Wonder word…interesting to say the least…somebody can have everything in the world, good career, good marriage, family…good name…_but…_ Always seems to frak up the whole thing… _However…_ _Only if…_ Funny how often people use those words, throw em' around when they've only got the slightest discomfort or problem in life, whenever their plans don't turn out like they'd dreamed… Most depressing words in the universe… Funny how often you hear em', though.

_I wonder how the dictionary would define Lee Adama? Seems like one of those words should be in there somewhere…_

"To be honest, I don't really know." I sigh, letting down every defense I've held on to for the past several months "Either way, I think law's out of the question, now…"

"It's not the only job…"

"Yeah, but…it's not that…" I search for the words, any words… "It was my life. My choice… All I'd ever wanted…Frak…" I curse lightly under my breath on the last statement, thinking of everything that's happened… "_Thought_ I wanted." I say, sharply swallowing the rest of my drink on the next breath.

"Parents' idea?" she asks.

"Not if you asked my Dad… My Mom never really cared what we did, but my Dad… Well… William Adama's proudest day was seeing his son graduate the Academy and put on his badge for the first time."

"Your brother, Zak." finishes Maggie.

"My brother, Zak…" I repeat, scrapping the hairs on the back of my neck "Never saw him prouder…never saw Zak prouder, either…"

"And you?"

"I guess he was happy for me… My Grandfather was an attorney…had a shot at the D.A. if his morality hadn't gotten in the way. I just… I could always see myself doing that more than putting on the uniform."

"Nothing wrong with that." she replies sweetly "Nothing harder than listening to your heart, huh?"

"…No."

"Well… There's always selling hotdogs on street corners…" she says, dead serious, straight faced. _Gods, who is she?_ A smile escapes from me before I can grab it, hold it in. Too late…she's got me. Brown eyes sparkle in the sepia glow of dusk.

"I don't think I'm that desperate yet…maybe my own bar…" I quip back.

"Yeah right…" she laughs, rolling back her eyes, her neck stretching back with her head as she sweeps damp strands of hair from her face "Lee's Joint…"

"Hey, don't stomp on a guy's dream…" I laugh…frak, _laugh…_ "Of course, I know some guys that went into the detective business…just private stuff, divorces, scam jobs…small time, but it's semi-honest money. Don't need that much where I'm living now"

"You? A private eye?" grins Maggie slyly; looking me over like steam and ice "I think I can see it… You think you can be mean enough?"

"What?"

"Isn't that one of those jobs for hardasses and guys that can "hang their heart on the rack" on the way in?"

"Only in cheap movies…" I joke "You're right…crazy…"

"I never said that." she retorts instantly "Only warning you… You just strike me as a nice guy at heart."

"Sure…" I reply in a hushed voice, still at a loss for what I want "Well there's always selling hotdogs…"

She smiles. Sweet smile…kind and goofy…happy… I don't care why I came in, anymore; why I'm here, what's out there… All I know…all I feel is her smile. I don't know what to think anymore…

_All I know is I'm happy…_

"So what about you, Maggie? New to town, huh?" I ask.

"How'd you guess?" she asks, leaning in ever so slightly.

"You're still happy." I observe "That usually lasts, hmmm…at max, three, four months…"

"I've been living in the city for _five_." she grins victoriously.

"Good for you…give it time…" I smirk, turning away, catching her laugh in the corner of my eye.

"I've been working as a secretary…nice, stable work…" The words come out sour…bored. I know the feeling.

"Can't argue with that." I acknowledge.

"Yeah, well it's easier than doing what I moved here for…" Her voice has a stinging tinge of longing, loneliness…

"And what was that for?"

A curt smile starts to form on her lips, she looks down at her shoes and circles her right fingertips over her turned down left. "I wanted to be an actress."

"An actress?" My eyes escape my watch and gaze up and down her delicate form… _Snap out of it, Lee._ "I think I can see it… But you're definitely not mean enough."

"Oh, am I?" she snaps at me with a ferocious glare, instantly melting into a smile.

* * *

The ghostly orange glow of streetlights and the roar of the late night crowd fills the open spaces of the bar. We moved over to a booth two…maybe three hours ago. Feels like an eternity…only I'm not missing a minute of it. What did I even come in here for? I pick over what's left of dinner, and quietly watch her finish off hers.

"So Lee…" she asks cheerfully "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

_What? _I'm still not so sure I know where I want to be next week… "Living would be a good answer…" I tell her, looking down at my dinner, at the table…anywhere but in her eyes…

Anywhere but the truth…

"Interesting answer…" she says, pushing her plate forward, straightening back and pulling her brow high "No, um…wife? Kids? Nice house with a lawn, white picket fence in the country?"

"Kinda' overrated if ya' ask me…" I tell her.

"Why do you think that?" she pries; her low voice soft as the wind through the trees in autumn "Don't want it? Or do you think you don't deserve it?"

_Don't look up at her, Lee… For frak's sake, don't pull her down with you…_

"Must be one of those." I look up into her face, lines of worry and care trace across her smooth skin. I pull in a deep breath, try and let it go, get back in it, enjoy the night… "Where do you see yourself in five years, Maggie?"

"Definitely living." she fires at me, dead serious…only not. Too silly for that. "I don't know about kids, but…wouldn't mind being married. Nice house… I love the country. My parents owned a place outside of Larissa when I was a little girl. It was so beautiful…all the wide, green fields and blue skies…birds…" She goes on and on about her home, happy memories all around…all in pastels and sparkling light. Wish to hell I could remember the same things. A casual glance to my arm gives me the time… _Gods… It's been that long?_ I don't miss a second of it.

"I still miss it…" she finishes "But…a girl's gotta' have some adventure, huh? Always need to…step out of your element, try something new…dare yourself, to…" She stops in a heartbeat. "I guess that's not you want to hear…" Sad eyes, burning in mine…

"No…you're wrong." I reply, losing myself in the moment, the conversation…losing myself to her "That's exactly what I need to hear."

We both grin, doesn't matter who does first, not now… Maggie starts to take a sip from her drink, looks around and back at me with a sharp twist. "Hey, how long have we been talking?"

I show her my watch, see her look of surprise as her eyes get big and wide, head pops up, and a grin glows in my direction. "Frak…that long, huh?" she asks; a twinge of shock and…_happiness?_ "I hate to bring it up, but…" she starts, her mind darting back to real life "Maybe we can leave it there...start back up some other time? You know…call it a night?" she says with a smile, pulling back and away. "I had a wonderful time, Lee Adama. Won't be the last, I hope?"

She says everything with a smile…at least to me…

"Definitely not…" I say, the words trailing into nothingness in the noise of the place.

"_Call it a night…"_ Say goodbye is what she means… We'd probably exchange numbers, maybe even meet up a few more times… But I know me. Nobody hangs around with me like that. I never have been that kind of guy. She's moving.

Now or never…

_Play it safe, Lee… Just play it s…_

_What the frak._

She slides out of the booth, and reaches for her purse with her outstretched left hand. I get up with her, reach out with my right and catch her hand in mine as it returns with her purse. My fingers slip around hers and press in, feel her pulse quicken. I step forward, into her, in close, close enough to catch the fading scent of her perfume in her hair and on her neck. She seems so much lighter, more fragile, but I don't push…not her. Her breathing falters, sharply pulling in as I lock into her eyes, those deep, dark eyes; beautiful and full of fire. My right hand clinches her left in palm as my left brushes up her right arm, goosebumps trailing my touch. I touch her face, feel the warmth radiating flowing just beyond my fingertips as I reach in, cradling her cheek and tangling my fingers through her still damp raven hair. I still half expect her to pull away, tell me to frak off, just get out before I hurt her… Her head tilts back, and she takes another step into me. Mine tilts down toward her, and I pull her up as she falls into my embrace. Our lips grace each other's ever so lightly, I feel the moisture of her mouth, take in her breath, taste her smile…

She pulls away with a gasp; her eyes close and flutter under her eyelids, her lips and tongue silently twist as her jaw quivers imperceptibly. I start to step back…no. Not now. Stand your ground. Don't let go of this… _Of her…_

"Or…" she says, clearing her throat briefly, that same, beautiful grin curling her lips "…we could catch a cab…"


	2. Not Tonight

"You'll have to forgive me; the place is a mess…" Maggie says, shuffling the lock, and swinging the door to her apartment open. "After you." she smiles, gesturing me through into her place. A worn, almost ragged, hand weaved Sagittaron rug covers the cool, hardwood floor. To the left, the windows are lightly shaded over by long, white lace drapes hanging all the way down to the floor, glowing a cool midnight blue as they sway gently in the cool breeze. The rain's died down for now, the long, swishing sweepings of cars in the street far below and scattered pattering of rain drops plinks its way through the silence up here on the fifth floor. Maggie moves past me after hanging her trench coat and reaches under a lamp next to her couch, flicks it on bathing the room a soft pinkish-gold and graces the lines of her curves like she's walking on the beach at sunset. Travel posters done in modern art hung with care all over the walls, the bold shades and angles splash her living room with a kaleidoscope of color.

"You like traveling?" I ask her, taking a few glances at a couple of them.

"Always have…wanted to, at least…" she sighs, looking over her shoulder at them.

"So what's the reason?"

"You mean, why dreary Caprica City instead of a few years in Tauron, or Virgon?" she replies ironically.

"I know it hasn't been that miserable for you." I reply "At least from all those stories you told me about back at Joe's… It's just; it's a good question…"

"Well…" she starts, rolling her eyes in a carefree smirk "Felt more like an adventure than a vacation…"

"And did you get it?" I ask, turning back to her "Your adventure?"

"Workin' on it…" she replies at me, walking over to her small kitchen "I'll go get us something to drink..." I make my way around her room, look at all the pictures she has of her family…all smiles. Everybody happy… I'm pretty sure they're still all smiling. It doesn't quite feel right…me here…with her. I pick up a small framed portrait of her from under one of her small potted plants; shift it into the light so I can make it out better in the low light. Must have been taken a few years ago. During the summer, probably… She's in the bright sun, wind blowing through her hair…_happy…_

I still can't even look myself in the mirror anymore…

"Nice pictures..." I remark, thinking of the cleared out walls in my own apartment and the box of picture frames rammed under some old luggage in my closet.

"Thanks…I guess I'm a total softie when it comes to memories." she says from the lit up rectangle of light in her kitchen "Did you see my baby?"

"Your…" _**FRAK…**_ "Baby…?"

Oh Gods…that's the last thing I was expecting…kids… I always sucked with kids…even when I was one. Still… Gotta' face up to it someday…

The plants rustle lightly as a small figure crawls stealthily behind the shadows. A small, black and white shape slithers into the light…purrs…

_Thank the Gods…_

"Hey little guy…" I say, arching down and reaching out with my other hand to pet the tiny cat with a red name collar…

"Max"…

He starts to back away timorously, "No it's okay; buddy…just here to **OW!!! GODS, FRAKKING…!!!**"

"You okay, Lee?"

"Yeah…doin' great…" I say, biting back anymore screams from the innocent cat hanging on with burrowed claws into the meaty flesh between my right thumb and forefinger. Max's eye gleam an evil fluorescent green and he tries to climb up for a fatal bite to my wrist. I shake him furiously, frakking off any rules about playing with cuddly animals. I finally shake him loose; Max rolls in a ball along the floor and leaps to a corner, crouching in attack mode, hissing just quietly enough not to alert Maggie but loud enough for me. The little bastard…

"Uh…" I begin to ask, keeping a locked eye on Maggie's "baby" "Have you had your cat long?"

"Ever since he was born…found him in an alley one day and just fell in love with him. Sweetest little thing…he likes to be my guardian angel… I actually think he's got a little bit of a crush on me…"

"Does he?"

"Oh yeah…but for some weird reason he likes to hide whenever I let in company… I still don't get why he does it…cute little personality quirk, I guess…"

"Yeah…real cute…" I reply, hoping she doesn't catch any sarcasm.

"Okay…it's nothing fancy, but it is chilled… Fridge at least works most of the time." Maggie says, coming back with two stemmed glasses and a bottle of cold sparkling ambrosia. Max skitters out towards Maggie and out of sight, casting a final evil eye in my direction. I put back the photo and go over to her at her couch. I almost flop down compared to her graceful recline. "I hope its okay." she says, pouring the sparkling spirit into both glasses, and handing me mine and setting the bottle on the small coffee table laden with a well wrinkled pile of scattered scripts with bright yellow highlights over specific lines.

"It's perfect." I tell her with a grin scraping the floor up to my right to meet her anxious stare. Her face lights up, serenely reflecting my grin back to me. She keeps her eyes locked into mine like she doesn't quite believe me…like she can see all the crap I've been dragging along with me for all this time…or the cat scratches…

"How about a toast?" she asks, tentatively lifting her glass.

_Let it go, Lee… Just for this once._

_For her…_

"Sure…" I reply, lifting my glass to meet hers. I keep things cool as I almost panic knowing she's waiting on me. _Frak…think of something…_ "To you getting your adventure."

"Thanks." she smiles giddily as the glass clinks softly, lifting the sweet smelling alcohol to her lips, same as me, smoothly sipping it in. I let it fill my senses, same as the after scent of her perfumed hair on my shoulder. We both shoot looks back and forth, both retreating within the space of a blink of an eye. I don't think I've felt like this with a girl since I was in High School."

"Still can't believe I just met you…" she quips with a cutoff giggle "Feels like back in High School…"

"What?" _Gods…did she just?_ "How do you mean?" I ask, blinking hard.

"I don't know…" Maggie says, rolling her head around on her shoulders "Just the idea of bringing some guy I met at a bar to my own place… I guess I shouldn't find that so weird, now, but…"

"No, I, um…I know the feeling."

At train careens by in the far off foggy netherworld of night beyond the brick walls of Maggie's apartment. She takes another sip, looking off into the distance, out the covered over windows towards the distant echoes of thunder rumbling over the city once more. "Wow…" she exclaims softly "Doesn't feel like it's ever gonna' stop raining…"

"No…never does…" I sigh under my breath, never meaning her to hear me. Doesn't work. She looks over at me, and drops her happy face for sad eyes, never meaning for me to see it… She lays her almost empty glass on the table in front of us, and takes in a slow breath. "You don't have to stay, you know…" she says, aiming her stare right through me.

"Yeah, I know…"

"I mean, we can just leave it here…take things…" she fades off as my left hand caresses her face, thumb tracing over her cheek just under her eyes as they slowly close and her head wisps forward. I taste her bottom lip first, followed by the sweetness of her kiss, electric and smooth all at once. Everything I came in with, everything I've been lugging around just falls away into the cool night as I let my glass drop to the floor and gently take hold of her waist with my other arm and feel the buttons on her blouse. My fingertips circle around them while the assault on my senses and hers takes it toll as I taste her tongue once more coil around mine; lose myself in her slick heat. There's no time, no passing of moments to be measured or felt, just the constant metronome of her heart and my breathing pulsing in the chilly air. Slender fingers start to tug at my shirt, and I almost pull away, still not sure of why the hell I'm even here or what the frak I'm getting myself into…

I just know I can't stand to be by myself another night.

She eases away, reaching over her shoulder for my arm and laying her hand over mine. "So…" Maggie grins uneasily "…what are you waiting for?"

The buttons of her blouse work their way free, my fingers pushing each one out and exposing the warm skin under the cool, still damp fabric. Our eyes are both closed, but we she still manages to undo my shirt collar, her hands burning against my frigid skin as she rakes her fingertips down my chest and stomach, finally letting her palms settle and melt into my sides as I fall into her even more.

My arms shift and balance my weight over her delicate body as she flows backward like a fading flower onto the armrest of her couch, pushed into the stiff cushions. I get a firm stance with my outstretched left arm, and start to pull down her blouse, feeling the delicate sky blue lace under it stretched over her silky white skin, the heat from her beating heart radiating out toward mine. I feel the first beads of sweat start to form on my brow, quickly wiped away by a sweep of her fingers through my hair. Maggie grimaces between her teeth, her breathing falters for a moment as my body presses harder into her, rubbing up between her thighs, against the wrinkled cloth of her dress being crumpled and pushed up along her legs.

I feel the slight pressure of her curving her leg around my back, working her heeled shoe off by hooking the back under my belt, digging into my hip before tumbling off with an imperceptible thud on the cold wood floor; her thigh presses into my side while her foot slips under the thin linen of my shirt, making slow circles down the small of back and my backside while her hands start to unhook my belt. Our lips break once more, and I bury my kiss in the smooth skin under her jaw, slowing nipping down to the silk covering her breasts with little more than the cool breeze. I hook two fingers under the left shoulder strap and slip it off, loosening the tension for my mouth to lift it off the firm skin underneath. Her breasts swell with heat from within; go hard in the cold air. I suck gently against the slick surface in a slow deliberate revolution around her nipple, finally capturing it carefully between my teeth and sucking hard, twisting my tongue around the hardened tip. She moans sharply in abandoned ecstasy, simultaneously writhing backward onto the hard armrest and tightening her grip around my hips with her freed legs. Maggie's hands now urgently pull at me belt, finally getting a tight grip on the buckle, sending it on its way with a fast scorching rip halfway out of sight beyond reach. My mouth releases her breast without warning, sending a shiver through Maggie. The skin flushes bright pink as she uses the moment to try and catch her breath...I don't give her the chance. I dive at her other breast, taking it faster, this time freeing my hands to glide along the tightening muscles of her thighs and up her hips. I reach her panties, raking over her swelling clit and start looping the stretching fabric around my thumbs, sliding them off…

Her head bounces up abruptly with a bursting moan, ringing from the hard impact with the armrest.

"Gods, Maggie?" I gasp with concern and worry. I push off her and look down at her, biting down on her lip with a near exhausted goofy grin, rolling her eyes, finally letting out a cute giggle.

"You know…I wasn't going to mention this the way things were going…" she says, biting down on her lower lip, and gesturing with her eyes over to another room to her right "…but I do have a real bed…ya' know…more room…"

* * *

She looks so beautiful in the cold light. Moonbeams dance across her silky skin like mist, cool breeze kisses her hair swelling of fresh cut lilacs in the springtime, blowing stray strands over her eyes. My fingers sweep along the curves of her face, lifting her hair away and back as I taste her lips once more. Her flavor's ambrosia, but even sweeter, my head feels heavy in her grasp, tired from the long day, the trial, the divorce, just the frakking loneliness… All I know is I need her…this moment.

I hit the bed first, sink backwards into the soft mattress. My skin pebbles against the icy sheets as I look back across the trail of strewn clothes on the floor, and watch Maggie's nymph like body come towards me like she's walking out of a dream.

"Thought this would be better…" she says sexily, gracing her palms over my arms. Her feet softly touch the freezing floor one last time before she climbs onto the edge of the bed on her knees, straddling my hips. The slick heat between her thighs' almost too much to bear sliding over me.

"Very…" I groan; jaw clinched as I tighten all the muscles in my loins, fight to keep my body under control for the moment. I take her head in both hands; bury my fingers in her thick raven tangles, filling my lungs with her scent. Our lips lock again, more serious this time, less thought, more instinct. She thrusts forward, pushing me to wrestle her tongue back into her mouth, tasting the wet, hot breath as she moans sensually. Let her hair fall over her shoulders and grip her wrists, flipping her around, forcing my full weight onto her beautiful form. Both heaving in and out the cool air in synch, both sinking deeper into the bed, feet tangling in the loose sheets.

A flash of white light cuts across the room, setting her face aglow. Piercing gold sparks in her deep eyes, focused only on me. She's so frakking beautiful… Thunder rattles the brick walls as I feel her heart beat, pulsing heat and life through her silken form. I slide down, laying kisses along her belly and leaving a trail of steaming breath and sweat on her ivory skin. My hands shift again; cup her ass, squeezing the soft yet firm flesh in my hands, pushing down further to her open thighs. Maggie's head falls back as my face hovers over her hot, swelling opening, the slightest glance against her tensing her legs hooked over my shoulders, her calf muscles strung so tight I don't know how she can stand it. Her toes curl inward tight enough to turn them ghost white while my tongue explores the pink folds of her clit, sucking lightly and penetrating in and out. I can't feel anything but the pressure of her flesh against mine. I'm floating in intoxicating happiness along with her. Her scent sends me into a blur of light and heat. I can't remember anything else now, can't feel anything but her touch, her smile, hear her moans and sighs…

I hook the back of her legs over my arms and lean forward, meeting her face to face and rubbing my hardness against her flesh, not quite pushing in but pressing in close enough to feel her shiver and throb. "Maggie…" I moan in a long, rasping breath, taking in as much oxygen as I can before clamping down, and thrusting deep inside her with a deep sigh. Her mouth opens wide, letting out a long, soft sound, vibrating from her lungs to her throat, cutting off and on with each extra thrust. Her legs push out, but I keep my weight centered, keep going deeper and slicker each time… Rocking, back and forth…back and forth… I'm really fighting it now, straining every muscle with each movement and shift. She doesn't make it any easier on me… Her slippery walls clamp around me, contracting faster and faster… Maggie's loosing herself in the moment…in me… She keeps gasping my name but it never quite forms all the way before she desperately has to pull in another breath…

"Le… L… Oh, FRAaa… Lee… L…"

Her silky skin's on fire, a sheen of sweat shines on every inch of her body. My chest rakes against her erect nipples, slides across her stomach faster and faster… Whatever light there is shifts to a glaring blur; sound of the raindrops ripping against the windows outsides fades into the distant echoes of her cries…

No time; no moments…nothing else. Just her…

_Just Maggie…_

My whole body shudders with hers like an explosion, jolting forward in a single burst. Her thighs break free from my grip, hug my waist like a vice and instantly go limp along with my muscles, melting in a puddle in sweat stained silken sheets. My head collapses on her chest, heaving up and down laboriously with each hard gulp of air. My heart's thumping like a locomotive, grinding to a smooth halt. I close my eyes and count the beats and taste her lingering salty sweat and sweetness on my lips. Her heat burns my cheek, flushing the skin a tender red. I feel her shift beneath me and run her fingers through my matted hair, cooing silently below her breath. I crane my neck back, straining my last remaining force to push myself up, burning my deltoids and lower back for support. I look down at her, shiny with sweat, hair tangled and tossed all around. Her eyes, deep black pools, my reflection in the dim azure light swimming in ecstasy. _Happy…_

She smiles in exhaustion, the most serene smile I've ever seen, every inch of her form relaxed, at ease. She breathes with me, stretches her head back and lets her jaw drop, silently forming words with her open lips. Beautiful words…pastel greens and sparkling crystal blues…happy words…bright and shiny…and my name… My name…

"Maggie, I…"

_I don't know what the hell the hell I'm doing here…_

Her eyes lock into mine, shine back at me… She knows it…

She still smiles…keeps the same, beautiful light…only sad now. Her eyes slip closed, and move up to me, meeting my confusion and fear with a kiss, more tender and innocent than anything I've ever felt or imagined…

_She knows it…_

* * *

The floor's freezing under my naked feet. My right arm props me up against the window sill beside Maggie's bed. It's a little past 3:30 in the morning. The rain's nothing but a silent drizzle, raindrops streak to vapor along the cold glass. I stare out into the sleeping cityscape outside, watch the occasional pair of headlights make their way through the fog in the lonely streets. Orange and gold glows from below; shimmering white moonlight shines down on my face from the infinite deep blue sky above. I breathe in and out slowly, quiet as possible and look back at Maggie, her graceful dancer's body glowing in the murky black silence. She's so beautiful… Peacefully sleeping in the messed tangle of sheets and pillows. _Happy…_

She'd be so much better off if I just picked up my clothes and slipped out the door. Saved her getting as frakked up as me… Said goodbye right now and…

I don't know what I'm supposed to do…

* * *

He looks so frakking hot in the moonlight. The soft beams silhouette hard muscle in blues and grays... He thinks I'm asleep but I'm not. Watched him the whole time… He's just been standing there for almost half an hour. Every now and then he looks back at his clothes on the floor, towards the door, the outside… And then he looks back at me with those beautiful steel-blue eyes, caressing me with his stare…and looks back out the window. All I know is he's lonely. Everything he told me, all the crap he's lived through and put himself through and imagining he has to… Telling himself to keep going, keep bleeding out of his side… I hate them. I don't know them, but I know him. I hate the bastards that let him fry for their own vendettas… Hate the bitch that dropped him on his ass when all he needed was for her to hold him in her arms and in her bed…

Hate myself for falling for him…

He turns back to me, traces along my body with his eyes.

_Keep still, Maggie… Don't let him know you see him…_

All I know is he's not going to walk out on me. Not tonight. No matter how frakked up he might be…how frakked up I am over him already. I think he likes it that way. Every person this guy's ever known has let go, stood on the edge and watched him fall…

All I know is I'm not gonna' let him go. Even if…_frak…_

No matter how much it hurts…

* * *

I look back at her sleeping sweetly; take one more glance at my pants lying crumpled on the floor.

All I know is I'm not gonna' walk out on her…

Not tonight.


	3. Sun Shines Through

My eyes open groggily to soothing blue yellows. I shift and roll to my side, stretching my arm out to feel warm skin in the chilled air…all I touch are the jumbled sheets all around me. My eyes squint hard, taking in the glow surrounding me, finally getting a good look at Maggie's bedroom. The walls are soft creamy white plaster that shifts in shades as the morning rays dance across the surface like cream in coffee. A polished wooden dresser's against the end of the wall to the right of the open doorway; the middle drawer halfway open. A small, metal fan and several trinkets and loose papers lay on the top, along with a framed photo of Maggie and another woman, probably her sister. I look to my left, back towards the short dresser by her bed; a chrome alarm clock shines, gently ticking the seconds off. 8:42… My arms slide back, and prop myself up in the soft mattress, twisting to pull my feet free from the tangle of linen sheets. She moves into view, soaked towel bunched under her arm; perfectly smooth form glittering with trailing water droplets, moving with the grace of a gazelle across the polished wood floor. Her feet are still a little damp from the shower, trailing ghostly footprints behind her. She sees me, face almost painfully trying to form a grin.

"Hey…hope you slept well…"

"Best in a long time…" I tell her, fighting to not stare as she collects her clothes from the floor and moves towards me, ivory curves swaying from side to side. Maggie drops her things in a wicker hamper in the corner to the left, and walks to the dresser, tugging the half open drawer out. She turns her back to me begins to rummage through it. "I, um…there's some coffee ready in the kitchen if you'd like. Got toast, eggs…or whatever you'd like…"

"That…" _Frak…_ "That'd be great. Thanks."

"Welcome…" she sighs distantly pulling out a slinky pair of black panties. She keeps her back to me, but I know she can feel me watch her bend over, and slip them up her long legs and over the gentle curve of her ass. The sweet floral scent of shampoo in her hair flutters my senses. My gaze stays on her, my thoughts still trapped in last night, remembering her heat, her smell, her taste…and her kiss. Not the first one, not all of them in between that meld into one, whirling image…but the last one. Her kiss…and that smile she gave me, so sweet and innocent, asking nothing back and giving everything.

_I just don't know what I'm… Gods…_

I scoot along through the covers and drop my feet off the side, sitting up with my hands between my knees. "Maggie, about last night…"

"Lee, no…"

"I just wanted to explain…"

"Lee, you don't have to…"

"Yeah I do." I tell her as she spins around, holding her lace bra in her hands. She stares me down, breathing with short inward gasps. Not a frown, but not a smile… Not happy, at least… Only I can't figure out for which one of us. Then again, she is looking at me.

"No you _don't_, Lee! You don't owe me anything. You don't owe anybody anything."

"This isn't about…" I fight to form the words, tell her she's wrong, tell her she doesn't really get anything about… _Only, she does…_ My jaw grinds shut, face tightens in anger… Not against her… Against _me_. _Pull your godsdamn head off the floor and tell her, Lee._

"Maggie, I never meant to…"

"So why did you come, Lee?" she asks softly.

"I don't know…"

_You frakking know why, Lee… _

"I'm not just some quick lay, Lee." she says straight faced, leaning her weight on the dresser, watching for my tell "But then, you never thought that… Frak, you probably can't… You're too nice a guy to ever try and take advantage of anybody."

I look into her dark eyes, seeing what I wanted to believe… She knows it.

"Maggie, this wasn't ever about that."

"No it wasn't. I never was just some good lay…" she replies, looking through me with her heart "And neither are you. Neither are you, Lee…"

The words echo through the air, rippling over me in the shifting rays breaking through the clouds outside. She stands there in the glow of day, sad eyes, fluttering brow, tensed lips. She's so frakking beautiful…

"I, um…" say, with a groaning sigh "I've…I gotta' go." I push out of the bed, and pick up my shorts, pulling them on as I reach for my pants.

"What, now?" she asks, slightly bewildered.

"Yeah…now." My fingers button up my pants and shoot down for my shirt. She loops her bra around her arms and adjusts it, watching me from a distance as I frantically try and get dressed, get out of her life before I frak her up like everybody else I ever gave a damn about.

_Just don't do it to her, Lee…_

_Not Maggie…_

"You at least want your coffee?" she asks all too gently, following me through the doorway back into the living room as I slip on my shoes.

"I can get something down the street… Thanks anyway." I tell her, knotting the laces on my left shoe tight and going for my jacket still hanging on the hook next to the door. I don't get far. She steps in front of me, grabbing my left wrist in her hand, burning my defenses with her brown eyes.

"Lee, wait! Just…just talk to me! Please…"

She moves in close, running the slender fingers of her left hand through my hair, staring into me. Burning me with her beautiful brown eyes…

"Lee…please… Just stop…"

* * *

He doesn't say another word. Well…out loud. Doesn't have to, anyway… That look tells me everything. Everything's he's felt; everything he won't let go of… Everything I knew I was in for with the first words I said to him… I still can't convince myself it was a bad idea…

He slips on his coat, and casts a final, sad gaze down into me, melting me into him…only he's not there. The door clicks shut silently behind me. I'm standing alone, goosebumps crawling up my legs and up my spine. My fingers wisp through the space where he was standing…just empty air. I take in a deep breath, watching my feet carry me across the freezing floor to the couch, flopping down hard into the hard cushions. Try to think about getting breakfast, doing errands…memorizing a few more lines for that audition at the end of the…

_Frak…_

My gaze scrapes the floor, sees it; watches it sparkle in the morning light, pick it up. Lee's glass from last night…

My eyes start to burn as I put it back on the table. My face twitches in shock, feeling the stray tear slowly sting down my cheek.

_Frak, Maggie…_

I take in a deep breath and grit my teeth, let my head fall back and gaze up at the ceiling. I exhale hard, a long, slow sigh…

Not over me… I was right. He couldn't walk out on me. Never did… _I just…_

Feel the release as the single tear droplet falls away…

_I just can't stand to watch him walk out on himself…_

* * *

It's a good office for the price. At least that's what the landlord said…last time I take his word on anything… The sounds from the street below bounce through the forest of concrete, metal and glass outside. I look up from my chair, away from the day's paper out at the drab walls full of photos and certificates. Nothing like my old place…it's darker, cracks in the ceiling, hot as hell in a heat wave…but I do have a door this time. Even if it is open right now. I look out into the empty waiting room for my office, sparse, just a couple chairs and an unoccupied desk, full of still unsorted papers and reports... Everything's behind schedule… Even my first case…I come in every day, and wait by the phone… So far, all I've had to look forward to are cold noodles at night and warm liquor in my glass. My mind drifts to all those papers, sitting idle and unorganized… I still haven't even got a secretary…still no calls about that one, either… At least the sign painter finally finished…

Lee Adama, Private Investigator

I start to reach for my glass again… Outside the door, the elevator bell chimes, the heavy metal doors slide wide, light footsteps click along the broken black and white tiles.

I can just see their outline in the foggy glass, a woman. Thin, moves like dancer. She stops just short of opening the door. Stands there… She's reading the letters, turning on her heels, shifting her head back to the elevator down the hall… Maybe it's a case…maybe somebody checking on the job opening… Maybe she's just got the wrong door…

* * *

_Gods… You don't want to do this, Maggie…_

_What the frak…_

* * *

The bronze door knob rattles, a slim crack opens up between the wall and the moving glass and wood door. She closes the door behind her lightly, stands gazing at me almost timidly in the reception room. She's dressed in navy blue with a slim, ebony purse over her shoulder; young and pretty, vibrant raven hair, and deep brown…

_Oh Gods…_

_Deep brown eyes._

"I um… I…" she stutters, fighting to keep her cool composure, stay business-like "I saw the ad in the paper… Um…I didn't..." She takes in a sharp breath, bites down on her lower lip "I didn't know it was you until I…"

"It's okay…" I assure her from my seat, getting up and rounding my desk. I walk over to her through the open doorway "How have you been?"

"Well enough… Thought I'd check around for more exciting work…"

The air's still and heavy, traffic clamors far below, light cuts across the walls of my office. Neither one of us moves…barely even breathes.

"I can go…" Maggie says, starting to reach back for the door.

"I said its okay, Maggie." I keep my distance, but look her right in the eyes "I meant it."

She stops. Time stops. I can't fix myself. Never could…but somebody almost did. If only for one night…

But that was just one night. Wouldn't have lasted…

_Not with me…_

The doorknob slips from her fingers. She turns around…

"So…" she replies after a deadening silence, breaking it like glass with her voice "Detective, huh?"

I break at the sight of her smile "Beats selling hotdogs on the street."

She scrunches her face, giggling in the hazy light of my office, smiling that friendly, happy grin that hasn't left my mind over all these weeks. "Yeah it does… Well, Lee Adama…" she sighs, relaxed, taking her ease "Here's my resume…" She hands me the portfolio; I take it, look it over… Wow…

"Not sure I can pay you enough after reading this…"

"I'm sure you can…" she replies "Can you?"

My brow angles back, I flip the portfolio closed "I'm sure of it…" _Liar…_

"I will want the weekends off…"

"So do I. I can't make too many guarantees, but I'll definitely try to..."

"Specifically this weekend…"

"Why's that?"

"It's nothing…sorta' have a date…" she tells me nervously.

"That's great." I smile "No, really. I'm happy for you, Maggie."

She looks at me, brown eyes aglow, warm and friendly "Thanks, Lee…"

The phone rings on the front desk, I start to reach for it, lose out to Maggie's quick gingers wrapping over the phone. "That's my job, Boss." she grins.

"Boss?" I grin perplexed "I don't remember hiring you…"

"Well weren't you going to?" she smirks.

_Frak me…_

I step back, listen in on her talking one the phone from the office chair behind the crammed desk. "Lee Adama, Private Investigator… Yes Sir… Really?" Maggie smiles up at me from the desk, a giddy smirk tracing across her lips towards me as she briefly pulls away from the phone…

"Guess what, Boss?"

_**The End**_


End file.
